


headassery

by lovlybangtan



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), Pentagon - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gay, Group chat, M/M, Pentagon, Slice of Life, Texting, lots of profanity, why did I make this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13065735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovlybangtan/pseuds/lovlybangtan
Summary: [hui added yutoda and 8 others to the chat]





	1. new gc

**Author's Note:**

> hello idk why i made this but i couldn't sleep so y not

3:52pm

[hui added yutoda and & 8 others to the chat]

**wonnie** : what is this

**hongmom** : hellooo lol

**hui** : it's a group chat

**bigbaby** : lol y tho

**hui** : i figured we probably needed one for many reasons

**yutoda** : lol like when changgu got lost but we were all split up so we had trouble communicating

**hui** : yes exactly

**yeo666** : I DIDNT GET LOST U FUCKERS LEFT ME ON PURPOSE THEN COULDNT FIND ME AFTER

**hoejong** : lol tru

**jinho** : i'm srry i halfway didn't want to do it but they made me

**yeo666** : halfway

**smiley** ™: wait why are hui and jinho the only ones without name changes?

**wonnie** : speaking of the names what the fuck is a wonnie

**hui** : it's ur name but in a cute way

**wonnie** : in what nonexistent universe 

**smiley** ™: it is kinda cute hyung

**hui** : SEE

**wonnie** : kino yesterday u told me u think crocs are cool

**wonnie** : i don't trust ur judgement

**smiley** ™: BUT THEY REALLY ARENT THAT BAD

**hoejong** : loser

**hongmom** : lol where's yanan? he's said literally nothing

**shanghaiprince** : i like watching

**wonnie** : creepy much

**shanghaiprice** : stfu shinwon if u wanna talk abt creepy, ik u were watching hentai last night

**jinho** : WHAT

**yutoda** : it's shinwon what u expect

**wonnie** : YaLL REALLY BELIEVE THIS HEADASS

**hui** : yes

**hongmom** : yes

**jinho** : yes

**bigbaby** : yes

**smiley** ™: yes

**hoejong** : yes

**yutoda** : yes

**yeo666** : yes

**wonnie** : fuk u i'm leaving

**hoejong** : finally

**bigbaby** : hyung pls change my name it makes me sound too soft

**jinho** : u are soft

**bigbaby** : no i'm a 188cm fuckin MAN

**yeo666** : hongseok get your child

**hongmom** : no thanks hui get ur child

**hui** : i don't want him i only have room in my heart for hyojong

**hoejong** : what

**hui** : what

**shanghaiprince** : pls no i already get enough cringe of u trying to flirt in real life i don't need this too

**hui** : I DONT FLIRT WITH ANYONE

**hongmom** : yesterday u pulled one of the 'did u fall from heaven' lines

**jinho** : omg did he really

**hui** : NO

**hui** : i was joking

**hui** : i saw this thing online and i wanted to make a jokE

**yeo666** : ur pretty bad at lying lol

**hui** : didn't u ask yanan his ideal type the other day?

**hui** : .........wonder why

**yeo666** : guys just can't ask other guys their ideal type 4 no reason?

**hongmom** : no

**jinho** : there's no point unless u tryna be their ideal type 

**yeo666** : .....i'm not

**jinho** : u sure about that?

**yeo666** : LEAVE ME ALONE I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKKING ABT HUI AND HIS OBSESSION WITH HYOJONG

**hui** : I DON T HAVE AN OBSESSION

[smiley™ changed hui's nickname to gay4hyojong™]

**smiley** ™: haha look i figured out how to do it

**bigbaby** : DO MINE DO MINE PLS

**smiley** ™: no

**bigbaby** : PH MY GOD

**gay4hyojong** ™: CHABGE IT BAVK RIGHT NOW

**smiley** ™: no

**gay4hyojong** ™: IM OLDER THAN YOU

**gay4hyojong** ™: U HAVE TO LISTWN TO ME

**smiley** ™: we can be ™ mates

**gay4hyojong** ™: i'm going to kill you

**jinho** : i suddenly appreciate myself for never taking sides

[smiley™ changed jinho's nickname to oldshortie]

**oldshortie** : :(

**oldshortie** : i'm not that old

**bigbaby** : yes u are

**oldshortie** : and you're not a fucking man accept it

**yeo666** : if we're back to talking about usernames, i just wanna say my name is a bit sinful for my liking

**wonnie** : ur entire existence is sinful stfu

**hongmom** : look who's done being salty

**wonnie** : excuse me

**yutoda** : tbh i don't think he's done being salty he just has nothing better to do bc his life literally sucks

**wonnie** : yuto u got a big mouth

**yutoda** : we're texting so that doesn't rly make any sense but ok 

**yutoda** : also my mouth is actually pretty small thank u very much

**smiley** ™: it rly is :(

**yeo666** : i'm just gonna pretend hyunggu didn't confirm that like yuto been suckn his dick

**hongmom** : WHAT

**wonnie** : wow are any of u losers even straight

**shanghaiprince** : they aren't

**wonnie** : i know


	2. wooseok is hungry

1:42am

**bigbaby** : hey

**bigbaby** : is anyone awake

**bigbaby** : i'm hungry

**gay4hyojong** ™: wooseok go back to ducking sleep

**yeo666** : ducking lol

**bigbaby** : first of all i was never asleep second of all u weren't either cuz i can see the light under ur door

**gay4hyojong** ™: why tf are u looking under my door

**hongmom** : are yall really still awake

**yeo666** : no ur dreaming

**bigbaby** : HONGSEOKKKKK

**hongmom** : o god

**bigbaby** : hongseok i'm hungry

**yeo666** : wooseok literally nobody cares stfu

**bigbaby** : GUYS PLS I CANT DRIVE I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE ME TO TACO BELL

**gay4hyojong** ™: just walk

**bigbaby** : do u want me to get murdered on the streets or

**yeo666** : at first i was thinking omg noooo but tbh it wouldn't be all that bad

**bigbaby** : wow i'm definitely talking shit abt u to yanan tmrw

**yeo666** : idc he knows he can't resist this dick no matter what anyone says

**hongmom** : whaT

**gay4hyojong** ™: wow look at the time im going to bed

**bigbaby** : dickface

**wonnie** : idk what we talking abt but i agree

**hongmom** : hui wont take wooseok to taco bell

**wonnie** : o shit lol u rite what a dick

**bigbaby** : shinwon will u take me

**wonnie** : the fuk? no

**wonnie** : it's 2am i ain't some late night taxi

**hongmom** : such a hypocrite wow

**yeo666** : no big words pls its 2 late

**hongmom** : changgu hypocrite isn't even a big word

**yeo666** : isn't it like a person that hypnotizes other ppl

**bigbaby** : no u fukign idiot it's a person that writes the bad stuff in the newspaper

**wonnie** : ??? what the fuck

**wonnie** : ur both dumbasses

**hongmom** : honestly u both need to go back to school

**hongmom** : wooseok u literally just graduated and i'm starting to wonder how the hell that happened

**bigbaby** : r u srs

**yeo666** : wooseok ur gonna be a single loser forever lol

**wonnie** : only cuz yuto n hyunggu r already a thing lol talk about sALt

**bigbaby** : excuse me hyunggu and i take turns

**wonnie** : the fuck

**yeo666** : whatever u do u as long as yanan is all mine

**bigbaby** : well......

**yeo666** : WELL WHAT

**bigbaby** : ......nothing

**yeo666** : YE A IT BEETTER BE FUCUKNGIN NOTHIFNNG

**hongmom** : jesus fuckng christ wooseok look what u did

**bigbaby** : my b lol

**yeo666** : i'm going 2 sleep but wooseok we r having a srious talk tmrw

**bigbaby** : shit

**wonnie** : lpoooool hav fun

**bigbaby** : stfu

**bigbaby** : at least u only have to share with jinho

**bigbaby** : he isn't scary at all

**wonnie** : share? lol i don't share

**bigbaby** : jinho claims hongseok on the dl

**wonnie** : i don't even like u fuckers as friends why wld i have a thing with any of u

**bigbaby** : cuz lowkey ur gay

**wonnie** : no fam i ain't about that life. i barely tolerate u guys n ur gay shit

**hongmom** : well i am 100% gay and in love with jinho

**bigbaby** : WOW

**wonnie** : *intnse cringe*

**wonnie** : ok wel i'm gonig 2 bed bye thanks for giving me nightmares

**hongmom** : lololololol

**bigbaby** : so hongseok

**bigbaby** : how about that food

**hongmom** : bye

**bigbaby** : fuck u


	3. gudmorning

 10:16am

**yutoda** : lol wooseokie was rlly desperate last night huh

**oldshortie** : I would have taken him to get food :(

**shanghaiprince** : it was like 3am I think tf not

**smiley™** : im awakkkkeeeeeee

**shanghaiprince** : so are we u aint special

**smiley™** : :(

**gay4hyojong™** : speaking of food im gonna go get us breakfast brb

**bigbaby** : wow

**yeo666** : tbh wooseok u were just bein rlly annoying last night like no one wanted to get u food they just wanted 2 punch u in the face cuz u wouldn't shut up

**wonnie** : lmfao tru

**bigbaby** : yanan

**bigbaby** : changgu told me u had a small dick

**yeo666** : WHAt

**shanghaiprince** : tell changgu im not talking to him til he reaches the over 180cm line

**yeo666** : IM 179CM OH MYGOD

**hoejong** : how tf u mute this thing

**wonnie** : idk i've been trying since it was made

**hongmom** : bithc dont be rude

**smiley™** : this is how we can be togethr even when we're not really tgther :D

**hoejong** : who would want that

[ **smiley™** changed **hoejong** 's nickname to **dickface** ]

**smiley™** : thats for being mean

**dickface** : i’ll take it

**gay4hyojong™** : hey im at mcdonalds what u losers want

**hongmom** : why dont u just get a family meal box

**wonnie** : ooO i WAN T a numbr 4 wid a sprite wit extra ice n honey for the fries n an ice cream with the m&ms

**gay4hyojong™** : yea im getting the box

**gay4hyojong™** : cheaper than shinwons needy ass

**wonnie** : WAIT NO GET MY STUFF

**gay4hyojong™** : no stfu im getting the box

**gay4hyojong™** : give me ur wallet then ill buy u whatever tf u want

**wonnie** : but my wallets empty thts y i wanted to use yrs

**gay4hyojong™** : exactly

**yeo666** : we all have the same job why is hui the richest of us all

**oldshortie** : cuz hes the leader

**shanghaiprince** : no I bet he bribes the shit outta yuto by turning the lights out n using his demon voice 2 ask for money

**smiley™** : that is sinful

**yutoda** : guys pls dont talk about his demon voice I still hav bad dreams

**wonnie** : lmao LAmE

**smiley™** : shinwon dont you sleep with a nightlight and have like 7 stuffed animals on ur bed

**wonnie** : ....no

**bigbaby** : ur so fucknig obvious dude

**wonnie** : STFu i dont care whst u bitches think. I have no shame

**oldshortie** : where did that nightlight even come from like u didnt have it before

**wonnie** : how would u know

**oldshortie** : because ive been in ur room before

**wonnie** : WHYW ERE U IN MY ROOM

**smiley™** : n its also my room

**hongmom** : shinwon u sound like a pubescent teenager stfu

**wonnie** : I AM a teenager leaev me alnoe

**hongmom** : ur 22

**yeo666** : u didnt have tht nightlight before tho

**bigbaby** : i kno y he got the nightlight *insert evil face here*

**shanghaiprince** : ??

**bigbaby** : so we were watching this scary movie one night

**wonnie** : bitcjh I dare u to continue

**bigbaby** : ok

**bigbaby** : anyways

**bigbaby** : so I had already watched it but shinwon hadnt so wen I knew there wus gonna be this rly scary part I said I had 2 use the bathroom

**bigbaby** : so he was in there all alone lol but I didnt rly go 2 the bathroom I was behind the couch n when there was a jumpscare I scared his soul out of his body

**bigbaby** : this bitch screamt like a 6 yr old girl

**yeo666** : wow shinwon a whole wus lol

**wonnie** : BITJC IF ONLY U WERE THERE

**yeo666** : whatever u say

**bigbaby** : YO HUIS BAKC WITH FOOD IM OUT

**dickface** : YEET

**wonnie** : fuk that he didnt get me my shit im boycotting

**wonnie** : who's with me

**wonnie** :

**wonnie** :

**wonnie** : guys

 

 


End file.
